family member with somatiform disorder

[victoria]

I am looking for guidance in knowing the best way to interact with a family member who has many physical ailments with no organic basis for any of them. Is it ok to be softly confrontational, directly confrontational, or is it better to try hard to simply maintain sympathy?

It is hard on those of us who care about this family member, as he has dozens of vague symptoms (i.e. tired heart), neurological symptoms (i.e. headache, tremors), and goes through endless cycles of testing and hospital stays.

We keep telling ourselves that he is not making the symptoms up, that the symptoms are real even if there is no medical basis, and yet, many family members are on the verge of what might be an unkind confrontation as we are all so tired of being dragged into the emergency room time after time.

I can find no guidance on this subject and am not even sure if I am putting it into the right category (anxiety).

I know that this family member needs help, but my question is more toward how do we, as family members, deal with him? Is it ok to let him know that we are pretty sure that his ailments are not organically based or will this make him worse?

Thanks!

[Dr. Adams]

The family member's primary care physician has the task of telling your relative that there are no objective findings and that the symptoms are not indicative of a disease process. Also the patient needs to be told that boldily complaints often arise out of unmet needs and conflicts that express themselves in physical complaints. Finally, "who would you like to talk to about this because we do not want to see your symptoms get in the way of your relationship with the rest of us."