Mild Sexual Masochism?

[chrnan]

Hello!
I wonder whether a very handsome and attractive boyfriend who wants to be bound and treatet like a sex object and male prostitute entitles some real dysfunction or is it just an acceptable dream? :confused:

[Dr. Adams]

You would have to decide if:
a. This meets your needs as well
b. If this is the beginning of a procession of paraphillias

[chrnan]

Dear Sir,

I am not at all comfortable with these ideas, in fact they turn me off completely and I wonder if trying to ignore the situation as much as possible would help in the long run. Not making much ado about it maybe will make it go off! Or is this just wishful thinking and the situation is somehow serious?
The way I see it it could be that because the man is so handsome and attractive he thinks that all women want him and he can have all women, even if this is only in the world of his mind and not in reality, so he is no loonger excited by something he can take for granted. He thus creates a situation that intrigues him and where he can find arousement, although this is not in itself an explanation.He wants to be treated roughly in order to be able to get tender!
Could my theory be plausible?
Things were OK in the beginning, at least on the surface and then suddenly these funny demands cropped up!
Unfortunately, when something is too good to be true it is not true!


Thanks in advance

chrnan
chrnan@yahoo.com :(

[Dr. Adams]

Of course, this must be your decision, but the most probable reality is that he needs these activities (or fantasies of these activities) in order to sexually respond. Thus, ignoring them will be unlikely to be effective. The most important thing is that you find them "disgusting." Unless you feel that your assessment of these acts will change, you may want to ask yourself why you remain in the situation.

[Vanilla]

Hello, I'm new to this forum!

My husband has a similar problem, which I will describe further later.
He has been, over the years, to a handful of psychologists and psychiatrists because he himself is very unhappy with his sexual fantasies, which involve pain and degradation.

My first and most important question is:

Is it at all possible to change one's sexual preferences in cases like these? To become "normal" again, in a sense "rewired"?

His doctors have had very varying opinions on this.
I have done quite a lot of research on the subject, and have found no satisfactory answer.

Why is there so relatively little literature on the subject of the psychological causes and problems of sado-masochism?

Why is it still such an enigma in our sexually psychologically advanced times???

[Dr. Adams]

The probability of changing a sexual orientation is decidedly low. Not only are you dealing with true motivation (and lack thereof), but also the individual has more access to the very things that you want him to avoid.

I would not, at any level, define our times as "sexually advanced." I would define them as sexually chaotic with questionable values.

[drama19800]

I have got a same problem as both of your husbands do. Its called sexual masochism. Went to a psychiatrist a couple of times but didn't really like what happened there simply because I think it did not work at all. She tried to hypnotize me but I was really 'there' the whole time and then asked me some questions that i just don't know the answer to. I guess she thought that something would come to me unconciously but I was fully aware of everything. Now, i think she had a great point when she said that I probably had lots of time on my hands and that I slowly gravitated from 'normal' things to this and now its just automatically triggered. Its all in the mind. I am going to go again but would like to hear some of the other experiences.
Thanks.

[nicole clark]

I don't mean to be rude or anything, but how does it feel to have sexual masochism. I was wondering b/c I think I might have sexual masochism