very concerned about my child

[Meredith]

I have 4 kids. My 3-1/2 year old is very unusual. My family & friends & I are very concerned about his disturbing behavior. He is physically & verbally aggressive, cruel & violent toward others of all ages, & he is self-destructive. He is extremely intelligent, probably my most intelligent kid. None of my children have been abused. We are exhausted & this is severely affecting our lives. I deeply love my kids & my oldest is a terrific 16-year-old boy, so I am an experienced & responsible parent. However, this situation is intolerable & I don't know what to do. This IS NOT a simple "terrible 2" or "spoiled" kid. There is REALLY something wrong with him & if I can't find a way to help him I hate to think how he or all of us may wind up. I don't even know where to begin, but I have no time to lose. Any ideas where I can start?

[Dr. Adams]

Impulse Control Disorder (Unsocialized or Undersocialized Agressive) *may* be a possibility. No one can diagnose on the internet. You could mention this diagnostic possibility to your pediatrician and ask for a referral. The pediatrician may feel it is ADHD, but (just) from the description, it appears more complex than that.