Absence of sex drive

[DavidLL]

My partner and I have been together for nearly 5 years, we love each other so much, but apparently her sex drive has gone to cero, and now this situation is damaging our relation. We have discussed the matter and we are willing to make an effort to solve the problem so as we can stay together.

When we started intimacy was just ok, but with time passing, things were getting worse, at this point she has no interest in sexual relations, she finds them painful and disturbing as she does not enjoy them; she is able to reach the climax but the desire is absent and she not getting aroused and finds it difficult to get lubricated. She feels rally uncomfortable when we get intimate.

I what to know how common is this problem for a couple in their middle 20’s?, who workable is the problem? And what could I do as a man to help solving the problem?

[Dr. Adams]

No this is not the normal response to sexuality.

Sex is a drive like hunger, thirst, etc. It is a biological need which humans creatively alter to increase pleasure.

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and/or dypareunia (painful intercourse) are conditions that can be treated.

It is difficult to know if it is painful for her because she has no desire (and/or finds it aversive) or she has no desire because it is painful. In either case, you indicate that it is deteriorating the relationship.

The first step would be to consider having her discuss this with her gynecologist who can render an opinion as to whether the pain is arising from a organic/biological or structural problem.

Good luck.

[DavidLL]

Thank you for your help,

So as we have talked the matter I know that she finds it aversive to get intimate.
And she has all ready gone to her gynecologist apparently with no organic/biological problem leaving it to a structural problem.

It’s clear that this is problem can be treated, but from your experience how effective is this treatment? Which is the next step that we should consider?

Again, Thank you for your help.

[Dr. Adams]

I am certain that her gynecologist recommended whom she should see next.

I wish you both the best.