Psychological ED and lack of sex drive & libido?

[somedude]

Hello, I am a 30 years old normal single guy. Never done drugs/smoking, and rarely drink alcohol (once every few weeks when going out), not overweight, not taking any medication and not depressed. I eat healthy and goto the gym daily. All in all just a pretty normal life and no problems at job etc..

My sexual function/desire was normal until about 6 months ago. Had a sexual encounter which I really did not enjoy and that caused me to lose my erection for the first time while having sex. Even though I know now it's normal, i was very stressed out at the time. Ever since then, everytime I have sex I have this strong fear I will lose my erection, and many time the self-fulfilling thought turns to reality. This negative thought has manifested in my head over the months, now I have no sex drive at all, I dont feel aroused even during sex, that combined with fear/anxiety causes me to lose my erection almost all the time.

Viagra worked great 100%, but that doesnt cure my cause(fear/anxiety when not having those ed pills, and lack of sex drive) and I dont want to be dependent on viagra at only 30.

It's very frustrating because I know it's all in my head as I can masterbate / have morning erections normally. I know all I needed to do is relax and not get anxious while having sex, but I just dont know how to remove this fear from my head and get back to the way it was 6 months ago when sex was enjoyable and relaxing.

I did went through the usual testing with my urologist and everything came back normal. I also went to a sex psychologist(therapist?), it was relaxing while talking with him but when I am actually in a sexual situation, the anxiety/fear came right back. Also read a few books on controlling anxiety, they all sounded great, but when I am in actual sexual situation all the "techniques" went out the window and fear/anxiety came right back.

What can I do to remove this anxiety, get my sex drive back (i think they are related), and enjoy sex again like it was. Should i focus on taking some herbs to get my libido/sex drive back first? or focus more on the psychological side of ED?

Sorry for the rambling, as you can tell i am very stressed over this, more so because I am not sure where to begin or if there is even a cure. It's very frustrating.

Thank you.

[Dr. Adams]

From the perspective of the body, fear and anxiety are equivalent. Both cause vasoconstriction and would interfere with erection. Viagra works for you and counteracts the bodies response to the anxiety.

Since you do not have to fear losing an erection when taking Viagra, it would be a matter of knowing that it is there to assist, having it available as a "safety net", and make gradual attempts to function without it. One such approach would be to have less demanding sexual situations in which an erection or lack thereof is not a critical aspect. Other than an erection, this would assume that you have other sexual skills with which you are proficient.

[somedude]

Hi Dr Adam,

Thanks for responding. The problem is i am not married and dont have a long term understanding girlfriend to turn to for help. So the sexual situation in most cases are always pretty demanding.

Will I develop an addiction (psychologically) if I just take viagra everytime, my fear is if i do that for a long period of time then I begin rely on the pill 100% mentally and can no longer function at all without it.

thanks again

[Dr. Adams]

You will not become addicted.